


7 Deadly Sins of Phan

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Don't know where this is going, Heavy Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 16:39:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8924425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: sev·en dead·ly sinsnounplural noun: seven deadly sinsthe sins of pride, covetousness, lust, wrath, gluttony, envy, and sloth.*this will be a seven chapter work- each highlighting one of the seven deadly sins, every singleton revolving around Dan and Phil.





	

he was seething. cheeks red, head pounding. words spilled out of his mouth by the dozen- nothing but hateful words directed towards the man in front of him.

he wore a look of fear. pupils dilated, beginning to tear. mouth slightly agape. he cowered against the wall, crouched down on the floor as he stood looking up at him.

words had been said- regrettable words they both wish they could've taken back as soon as they left their mouths. it didn't stop him that time, however. they had had the conversation millions of times; dan would stay resilient as phil grew exasperated trying to get his way.

telling the fans.

it was their most common dispute; they never seemed to reach a decision on who could be right.

phil wanted to tell their audience. he believed they had a right to know, but more than that he was sick of hiding. he wanted to be able to kiss dan in pubic, for the world to see, without the fear of an audience member seeing. he wanted to hold his boyfriend's hand without the phandom exploding with a pictures. he wanted to live his life truthfully with the man he loved.

dan wanted security. he wanted privacy. he wanted phil and his family and the rest of his personal life kept private, and rightfully so. phil understood,he really did. he understood dan's need for privacy but that didn't change the fact that he didn't want the privacy. dan's reasoning was always that he wasn't ready to come out; which phil of course also understood. ever since dan had first started youtube he had worried about image. he was constantly checking his video statistics, fretting about every little thing.

at this point however, it wasn't just about dan worrying. it wasn't just about phil wanting to come out. it wasn't about dan wanting privacy.

what it was about was phil not being careful enough. it was about dan telling phil he didn't think phil was even thinking of dan's feelings. it was about phil crying as dan screamed on about why phil needed to be more careful. it was about the fact that they had had this same conversation two other times that week. it was about phil wondering why he puts up with dan's wrath.

phil loved dan. that was for certain. yet at the same time phil was tired. he was tired of the tears streaming down his face he was tired of the sound of dan yelling. tired of dan constantly getting his way of privacy when phil seemed to get nothing out of the deal.

dan was aggravated. aggravated with his so-called boyfriend for trying to hold his hand in tesco. aggravated with him for not thinking of dan's feelings. aggravated with him because he said he wanted more. aggravated with him for questioning whether it was worth it anymore.

and maybe dan had questioned it as well. maybe he too had thought of ending it one more than one occasion. maybe he too had considered breaking it off but had decided against it because he knew he loved phil; but was it worth it? was his love worth the pain?

words were said. horrible words they want to take back. dan regretted telling phil he wished he'd just listen to him once in a while. he regretted they way he had walked up to phil, looked him in the eye, and told him he wished they had never met.

phil regretted things too. he regretted the tears. he regretted telling dan he still loved him, that he still had hope. he was holding onto a dream, he knew that.

phil wondered when it ended; when they lost their happiness. arguments weren't about a winner or loser they were about dan getting out whatever it was he was thinking and throwing his words at phil like sharp knives. it was about the memories they shared together being shattered like glass one by one. it was about their love fading like a candle's flame. it was about phil waiting for the nightmare to end. it was about phil hoping and praying for it to end and to have dan back.

but everyone has a limit. phil reached his limit. he let his words spew at dan like a fire hose. dan's knives of words were sent back to him. phil was done being scarred. the hope the dreams a wishes replaced by regret remorse and wrath.

and then it happened.

the moment it ended.

the moment phil lost his hope all together.

the moment dan looked back at with anger, yet sadness and regret.

the moment all glass left was shattered.

the moment the candle finally burned out into a small plume of smoke, wavering through the air only to die out completely within seconds.

the moment dan slapped phil.

there was a moment before when they had stared into each-others' for a moment, where phil had maybe thought everything would be okay, it wasn't ok. there was a moment afterwards where they were both in shock. dan rushed out apologies. phil turned away. wrath turned to regret. hope turned to resentment.

doors closed and they wouldn't be opened again.he left without a goodbye. if he had looked he would've seen the tears. he would've seen the regret and the pain. he didn't however. the last thing he saw was the wrath. that was all he saw, ever. he was done with the wrath. he was done with the pain and the yelling and the screaming and hoping and dreaming and praying for it to end because now it would end.

wrath was there. the root of it all. the wrath overtook them both and thats the thing about wrath. all emotions, whether good or bad are forgotten when wrath appears. a person is overtaken by it. its anger, but it's more than anger. wrath is the words a person says to the one they love most when they know they don't mean it. wrath is all the horrible, terrible parts of a person being thrown in a blender and then thrown out at their victim. a tsunami of hatred obliterating its path. wrath sets things on fire. wrath comes without warning. wrath is uncontrolled. wrath is terrifying, but unavoidable when it shows up. wrath is a rabid dog. wrath is a tornado with no remorse. wrath takes those who are least deserving of its pain and goes in for the kill.

dan had so much wrath. phil grew more overtime and bottled it up till one day he exploded. it wasn't wrath though. the wrath came after. dan's wrath had peaked when his hand flew across phil's face. that was when phil reached wrath.

dan was scared. he was scared of his power and of what he had done to phil. he was scared of losing the one who meant most to him. scared because phil had wrath.

he was seething. cheeks red, head pounding. words had spilled out of his mouth by the dozen- nothing but hateful words directed towards the man that had been in his place only moments before.

he wore a look of fear. pupils dilated, sobbing. gargled screeches leaving him. he was pressed against the wall holding his knees, crouched down on the floor as he watched him leave.


End file.
